Wednesday 31 October 2018

It's A Same-Sex Wedding - Are You Ok With That?

Well, yes - but I've grown not to be surprised by the question. 

UK society today is far more accepting of same-sex relationships than it was thirty or forty years ago. It's not yet a universal acceptance, but, in general, people don't bat an eyelid at same-sex weddings and public displays of affection.




Good thing too. Let's not lose sight of where the world is at present: we have people being tortured and killed because of differences of opinion over religious persuasion. We have children - CHILDREN - being maimed, starved, burnt, gassed and dying slow horrible deaths because a grown-up despot wants to hang on to power. We have insecure megalomaniacs that are only happy when they have more weapons of mass destruction than anyone else on the planet. We have people starting hate campaigns because of something that someone else wrote on Facebook. We have a society where declaring support for a particular football team could well earn you a brain-damaging kicking. We have a planet that is being raped and set on the path to destruction because, to stop raping it and to do something that might save it will entail a loss of profit. It's a crazy place, Earth, right now.


So it's a good thing that we still have something inexplicable, undefinable, intangible and timeless like love - we should welcome it, because it's one of the few good things that human-kind has going for it. And if it happens to be love between two people of the same gender, let's welcome it just the same. Seems a bit petty to tell them I'm not comfortable with it.


It's pretty safe to say that by the time any of us get to the point of becoming married, we'll have had something of a journey; for most of us, we'll have had a few bumps along the way, false starts and disillusionment, maybe a few tears and a bit of heartbreak. It's called the School of Life. But we get there in the end - everything works out eventually.


For gay men and women, though, their journey included a path more bumpy. It wasn't a choice. They've had to come to terms with not meeting societal norms and familial expectations. They've had to go through revealing their sexuality to their parents and the rest of their family, and had to handle the repercussions of their coming out. 
It's possible that they've been ostracised and discriminated against, and suffered verbal and physical abuse and humiliation. But they come through it and there they are, at journey's end, in front of the registrar, ready to seal the deal. They love each other - and this world, right now, could always use a bit more love.



 So....it's a same-sex wedding - are you ok with that? Yes. Most definitely, yes. And let's hope we get to a point where the question is no longer asked.






Friday 10 August 2018

Are We Expected To Feed The Photographer?

It's not necessary, or expected. But.....if you do, it's always appreciated.

Obviously, if I'm working a full day on a wedding - which can be upwards of ten hours - I need refuelling at some point, but I don't expect my customers to be responsible for it. Most venues will be happy to add another plate or two to feed the photographers, but they're equally happy to charge for it, and - depending on the venue - that can be upwards of £30 a plate. I really don't expect my customers to pay that, so I don't want anyone to feel obliged to do it.

If I'm self-catering on a job, I get by on water, sandwiches, miniature cans of fizzy drinks, and Haribos Tangfastics (other forms of confectionery are available, although I don't understand why). It basically becomes a day of sugar-boosts, which isn't something to do on a regular basis, but once in a while won't kill you and it helps me get the job done.


Incidentally, I eat when the wedding party eats. I make a point of NOT taking photos when food's on its way into, or in, someone's mouth. It does not make for memorable photography as Ed Milliband will testify.

Recently, in advance of their wedding, a couple asked the same question and I gave the same answer. As they passed me on their entrance to the wedding breakfast, the groom slipped a bag of Tangfastics into my hand. It was nice of them to remember, and very welcome - but the icing on the cake (so to speak) came a little while later when the Event Manager told me there was a main course waiting for me in the bar. Cheers, Helen and Trevor.


As I say: not necessary, or expected. But always appreciated.