It's A Same-Sex Wedding - Are You Ok With That?

Well, yes - but I've grown not to be surprised by the question. 

UK society today is far more accepting of same-sex relationships than it was thirty or forty years ago. It's not yet a universal acceptance, but, in general, people don't bat an eyelid at same-sex weddings and public displays of affection.

Good thing too. Let's not lose sight of where the world is at present: we have people being tortured and killed because of differences of opinion over religious persuasion. We have children - CHILDREN - being maimed, starved, burnt, gassed and dying slow horrible deaths because a grown-up despot wants to hang on to power. We have insecure megalomaniacs that are only happy when they have more weapons of mass destruction than anyone else on the planet. We have people starting hate campaigns because of something that someone else wrote on Facebook. We have a society where declaring support for a particular football team could well earn you a brain-damaging kicking. We have a planet that is being raped and set on the path to destruction because, to stop raping it and to do something that might save it will entail a loss of profit. It's a crazy place, Earth, right now.


So it's a good thing that we still have something inexplicable, undefinable, intangible and timeless like love - we should welcome it, because it's one of the few good things that human-kind has going for it. And if it happens to be love between two people of the same gender, let's welcome it just the same. Seems a bit petty to tell them I'm not comfortable with it.


It's pretty safe to say that by the time any of us get to the point of becoming married, we'll have had something of a journey; for most of us, we'll have had a few bumps along the way, false starts and disillusionment, maybe a few tears and a bit of heartbreak. It's called the School of Life. But we get there in the end - everything works out eventually.


For gay men and women, though, their journey included a path more bumpy. It wasn't a choice. They've had to come to terms with not meeting societal norms and familial expectations. They've had to go through revealing their sexuality to their parents and the rest of their family, and had to handle the repercussions of their coming out. 
It's possible that they've been ostracised and discriminated against, and suffered verbal and physical abuse and humiliation. But they come through it and there they are, at journey's end, in front of the registrar, ready to seal the deal. They love each other - and this world, right now, could always use a bit more love.

 So....it's a same-sex wedding - are you ok with that? Yes. Most definitely, yes. And let's hope we get to a point where the question is no longer asked.

Are We Expected To Feed The Photographer?

It's not necessary, or expected. But.....if you do, it's always appreciated.

Obviously, if I'm working a full day on a wedding - which can be upwards of ten hours - I need refuelling at some point, but I don't expect my customers to be responsible for it. Most venues will be happy to add another plate or two to feed the photographers, but they're equally happy to charge for it, and - depending on the venue - that can be upwards of £30 a plate. I really don't expect my customers to pay that, so I don't want anyone to feel obliged to do it.

If I'm self-catering on a job, I get by on water, sandwiches, miniature cans of fizzy drinks, and Haribos Tangfastics (other forms of confectionery are available, although I don't understand why). It basically becomes a day of sugar-boosts, which isn't something to do on a regular basis, but once in a while won't kill you and it helps me get the job done.


Incidentally, I eat when the wedding party eats. I make a point of NOT taking photos when food's on its way into, or in, someone's mouth. It does not make for memorable photography as Ed Milliband will testify.

Recently, in advance of their wedding, a couple asked the same question and I gave the same answer. As they passed me on their entrance to the wedding breakfast, the groom slipped a bag of Tangfastics into my hand. It was nice of them to remember, and very welcome - but the icing on the cake (so to speak) came a little while later when the Event Manager told me there was a main course waiting for me in the bar. Cheers, Helen and Trevor.

As I say: not necessary, or expected. But always appreciated.

Why Is Wedding Photography So Expensive?

Well, it's all relative, isn't it?

Now, I'm not going to describe myself as "Cheap Wedding Photographer, Basingstoke", because "cheap", in UK usage, is often followed by "and nasty", so I avoid the "c" word and prefer to describe myself as "affordable" - although that does rather assume that couples can afford to hire me. Let's just say that - in comparison to the market as a whole - I'm flexible, suited to the budget-conscious and driven to go above and beyond when it comes to the customer experience.

I think that's fair, with prices starting at £70 per hour, and a full day's coverage (with undefined hours) costing £500, but, taken in isolation, £70 is a lot of money (we'd all miss it if we lost it) and £500 is a small fortune. It all really depends on what you're getting in return, and it also depends on what you have to do to acquire that money in the first place. I know that £70 represents more than a full day's earnings for many people - and I'm charging that much for an hour!

Part of the problem - which makes wedding photography seem to be an extortionate rip-off - is that what we do on a wedding day is the tip of an iceberg. Obviously, we only work on a Saturday and take the rest of the week off.... 

Let's take a look below the surface: for the next wedding I'm booked for, I've already had two meetings with the couple. I met with them at their home, about 20 miles away. The first meeting was a go-see, when they'd already seen enough of my work and liked my pricing enough to put me on a shortlist of possible photographers. The second one was after I'd got the job, and we started to talk about specifics - timeline, locations, their outline for the day and the look and feel of the photos I'm going to take.

Next week, for the same wedding, I'm going out to visit the main venue, and to introduce myself to the event planner/manager/co-ordinator - a standard and necessary part of the job - so that I know what to expect, and to make sure I'm singing off the same hymnsheet regarding the overall flow of the day. Because the wedding's in a church, I'll also be going to the rehearsal. Nobody gets a bill for this - my prices are all-inclusive.

The bride's going to be arriving by horse and carriage, so that means a conversation with the ostler, just to check on routes and timings and any sensitivities to be observed around the horses. Horses are beautiful animals, but they can be skittish, and I don't fancy being around two tons of them should they get stressed by a thoughtlessly-directed pop from a speedlight. Not when they're attached to a Cinderella carriage.

The coverage I'll provide on this particular wedding day will be around ten hours - which means I'll probably be out of the house for twelve to thirteen hours. When I get home, there'll be some essential downloading and backing-up to be done before I get to bed. (There will also be uploading of pizza and a precautionary glass of patented Scottish damp-proofer. Can't be too careful, and it doesn't pay to mess with tradition.)

The day after the wedding, I'll start the post-production process, with the immediate objective of producing a minimum of 20 photos as a preview for the couple, so they can keep the excitement of the day alive, and join in the Facebook-sharing of photos of their wedding, rather than have to wait a month. That's just the start, though, and the whole process of producing the finished photos will take around 50 hours.

Finally, the photos will be delivered on one of these cute little USB sticks in a cute little box and a cute little velvet bag. All of which costs a few shekels, with no hope of bulk purchase discounts on the USB stick and box, because they're one-offs and engraved to order.

Aside from the hours spent on a wedding that I'm booked for, there's time spent on trying to attract work that I don't get booked for, and time and money spent on general marketing, insurance, personal development and admin-y things like paper and staples.

Then there's the cost of the equipment we use....not to go into too many details, but for me to replace a camera battery costs me a penny short of 65 quid (they're rechargeable). I carry six of them to a wedding. Want to hire camera and lenses like mine? Just checked - £249 a day before insurance, VAT and delivery charges. That's for one - you really want to risk covering a wedding without backup?
And to think we all took up photography because it was such a cheap hobby.....

I don't mean this to sound like a rant or a whinge. Nobody forces us to be wedding photographers. Nobody forces us to charge the prices we've settled on or to work in the market we've chosen. We're not slaves. I can't speak for anyone else, but I do it because I love doing it and I'm comfortable working with the customers I attract.

I get satisfaction from meeting the challenges that every wedding brings, I get to visit some fabulous venues, and I feel privileged to be a part of the happiest of happy days. The best bit is presenting the finished files to my customers (in person, when possible) and listening to them re-connecting to their special day as they look through the photos - in a way, that validates what I do, and re-assures me that I'm doing something valuable. The story of the day - their story - is told, and it's told with my photographs. So I haven't really got anything to rant about - I've made my bed, and I'm happy to lie in it.


To prove that I haven't lost my impish sense of humour, I'll share a true story, as recounted by high-end Australian wedding photographer, Ryan Schembri. Mr Schembri sells a package of albums - and charges A$6,000 (I'll repeat: six thousand Australian dollars) for them.

When his customers have finished saying things like "Strewth, mate! Y'serious?" and "Tie me kangaroo down, sport!", he asks them how much they paid to settle the (open) bar tab. This being Australia, where thirsts are legendary and the risk of dehydration is great, the tab is usually around A$10,000.

"Well", says Ryan, "you do realise that about seven thousand dollars worth of that didn't go home with the people who drank it. Another two thousand dollars worth parted company with the drinkers before bedtime. And the last thousand dollars woke the consumers up before sunrise and had them skipping to the dunny. By breakfast-time, all that's left is the hangover. Whereas these..", dramatic pause, while he taps the stack of albums in front of him, "these, you'll still be looking at in sixty years time. Tremendous value for money."

Have to say it, I agree with him. As I say, it's all relative.

(Meanwhile, back in the real world, I supply a range of photobooks and albums priced from £125 to £445. Just sayin'....)

How Do You Describe Your Style Of Wedding Photography?

Wedding photographers use many words to describe their style....reportage, traditional, documentary, classical, in the moment, avant garde, contemporary.....

So what's my style? Well, part of me says "None of the above", yet, on another day, that same part of me will say "All of them". (It's not easy being me.)

Thing is, it's not really about having a style - it's more about the job I'm there to do. And my job is to take photographs of a wedding, creating a record of what went on so that the couple can relive it over and over (I was trying really hard not to say "creating forever moments", but it looks like I failed. My bad).


If I have to wear a label, please can it say "Story Teller"? Because that's what I do - and if someone wants to say "But that's reportage or documentary photography", I don't mind - but please don't tie me to any one style. What I do during a wedding day is whatever's appropriate to the story at that point - and what the couple's asked me to do.

There really isn't, in my opinion, a one style that fits all. In the course of a wedding day, I might be the fly on the wall photographing the bridal party getting ready. During the ceremony, I shoot wide and I shoot tight. Tight, to record the intimacy of those "mustn't miss" moments - the rings, the kiss. Wide, to include the guests at those times, and candid photos of what's going on behind the bride's and groom's backs. Traditional to documentary and back again, all in a few seconds.

Then there are the post-wedding photos - the couple leaving the ceremony and the mayhem of the confetti-throwing. I could set those shots up (traditional) or I could just step back, let it happen and take photos (reportage). Depends on what the couple want on their wedding day - do they want it to flow, or do they want me to intervene and stage the key moments? Group photos - classical wedding photography: who hasn't seen one or been in one? Do they want none, some or many? Whatever the bride and groom want, it's the right choice. It's their wedding day, and it's their story.

We could venture into some posed, formal bride and groom portraits, or we could do those portraits in a totally relaxed, informal way, where the couple are hardly aware of me. I don't have any preferences, and just as well, because they'd count for nothing anyway. I just need to be able to deliver what they want.

I listen carefully to the couple when they're telling me about their wedding plans, and I try to draw out of them what they're expecting their wedding photos to look like. I ask them about their preferences and their dislikes - and once I know what matters to them, it matters to me. What it usually boils down to is that they want the story of the day, told in pictures.

Which suits me just fine. It's what I do.

We Only Want Photos Of Us Getting Married And Afterwards With Our Families. Can You Do That?

Well, yes.

Not all couples plan for the all-day, bells and whistles wedding with a photographer in attendance for ten hours or more. For various reasons, some just want to get married in the presence of their closest family members, have a few photos taken immediately afterwards and then go off for a private celebration.

Yes, I can help. Why not?

I offer an hourly rate service, where my wedding coverage is tailored to the couple's needs, and it costs £70 per hour. Bear in mind that the minimum booking is for two hours, and you'll need to sign a contract, same as everyone else.

If you use the hourly rate service, you get the same delivery of your photos and the same customer experience as couples who book for a full day. You just get smaller portions in terms of my time on the day and the number of photographs. (But you'd probably worked that out for yourself, hadn't you?)

It's a service that's available on any day of the week, and at any time of the year, and I operate on a "first come, first served" basis.

If this is the sort of coverage you want, get in touch. I'd love to hear from you.

A Week To Go .....and BREATHE!

A week before their Big Day, and Tori and I met up with Cassy and Paul for their pre-wedding shoot. This is part of our standard full-day package, and it includes an online gallery of edited images and a complimentary mounted print.

 

We normally do these shoots around a month before the wedding, but have learned to be flexible.....Paul's job restricts his availability, and the weather hadn't been co-operative, so we were, on this occasion, keeping fingers crossed that the shoot could go ahead. The gods smiled.....

The venue was new ground for all of us. I'd met Cassy for two planning meetings (again, a standard part of our wedding photography offer) and, when we were discussing locations for the pre-wedding shoot, she'd mentioned that she had something of a penchant for low bridges. Assuming that she wasn't referring to railways and roads, and knowing something of the geography of Hampshire, I googled the River Anton - a chalk stream/river that's a tributary of the River Test and which flows through Andover, close to the couple's home. Within a few minutes, I'd been offered Rooksbury Mill Nature Reserve; as well as the river - complete with required footbridges - the reserve holds a pair of sizeable lakes, lots of autumnal colours and a variety of wildlife. It sounded ideal.

So what's the pre-wedding shoot about? It means different things to different photographers, but for us it's primarily about the couple getting used to us with cameras in our hands. On this occasion, only Cassy and I had met before, so it was also a way of the four of us getting to know each other. Don't under-estimate the importance of this; without this shoot, the first time we'd have met Paul would have been in his hotel room a couple of hours before the wedding. Not the most relaxed setting....

This close to the wedding, the occasion offered Cassy and Paul an opportunity to relax and take some time out from the stresses and worries of planning and organising their big day. As you'll see when we post our account of the wedding day, a lot of thought and hard work had gone into achieving their vision - they both deserved an hour or so away from it all.



And, of course, we might be able to provide them with some nice relaxed, informal engagement portraits.....





Tori and I both enjoyed stepping into unfamiliar territory. We're already talking about going back to do a nature-photo walk next spring. And we've got somewhere else to offer wedding clients for their pre-wedding shoots...

Related links: http://www.testvalley.gov.uk/resident/communityandleisure/naturereserves/rooksbury-mill-local-nature-reserve-andover/

Wedding Blessing - St Mary's Church, Portchester Castle

Today was the warmest, sunniest and (thankfully, driest!) day of the year so far - a beautiful backdrop for Luke and Samantha, whose marriage was blessed at St Mary's church, in Portchester Castle at the northern end of Portsmouth Harbour.

The original castle was built during the Roman occupation, and was later developed by William the Conqueror. The church was added during his reign, so is, give or take, 900 years old.

I don't personally have any religious affiliation, but to my mind, St Mary's is a beautiful example of a simple place of worship, and a lovely setting for a couple to marry or to re-affirm their vows.

An added bonus was that the priest gave me carte blanche to move around as I wanted, and asked the congregation not to use their own cameras during the ceremony. Exclusive rights! I can handle that.

Technically, the strong, directional light presented challenges - the interior was either brightly lit or in deep shadow, and very little in between - but nothing insurmountable. And there's a certain satisfaction to be had from solving problems like that.

Best wishes to Luke and Samantha - and their three delightful daughters. It was a pleasure to be with you on such a special day, and to provide you with a pictorial record of it.